This is not what you think. I’m not randomly seeking a sitter through the dangers of the Internet. This is about ME. 

Since my return to work from my leave, they have deemed me incapable of doing my job. I haven’t done anything to warrant this treatment, except for being completely honest about my Postpartum Depression/Anxiety. 

I’ve always covered for my Co-worker when she was out, coming in early on OT to distribute work to the field. Even puking my brains out pregnant, I never missed a day when I was covering for her. I was left alone, countless numbers of times to man the ship on my own. 

Now, I’m somehow incapable of even managing to do my own job. Sure my heart isn’t in to it and I want to be home with lil man. But I fake it to make it every day. I am no longer asked to cover in the mornings, she legit had to come in for a few hours her days off she requested. THEN they called in managers from other areas to babysit me in the afternoon. Like, are you fucking kidding me? Then I questioned it, not to my manager though, and was told they didn’t feel comfortable relying on me. So, um, ok, having a child apparently makes you unreliable?!? 

This tiny little being is relying on me to keep him alive every day, but apparently I’m not responsible enough to show up at work and do the job I’ve done for 3 years. 

Then something else strange has been happening. My manager hasn’t been leaving for morning meeting until I’m here. It starts 10 minutes before my scheduled start time, is he watching my time? Ensuring I’m not late? I mean, I’m never late, and if I am running more than 5 minutes behind I call. So, where is all this distrust coming from? 

I mean for fucksake, we’re having budget cuts, do me a favor and lay me off. I’ll be happy to collect unemployment for a few months and not pay out my ass for day care. Don’t treat me like I’m a different person, or incapable of doing my job.

This is why people don’t talk about postpartum depression!!! Negative stigma!!! Maybe if everyone stopped acting like a jackass, we’d have less trauma associated with it!!

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